let’s catch up

Greetings from Georgia. I’m all settled in and ready to catch up with you all.

I started this blog as a place to dump my thoughts and in doing that I wanted to remain honest with myself and any readers, if I manage to get a few of those. So, that being said I want to start off my catch up by letting you know that this isn’t the post I wanted to have as my first post up after my move back home.

I wanted to return triumphantly with a well thought out travel essay, something about job hunting, etc, etc. However, I am not feeling up to writing anything that looks like that.

I’ve been back in Georgia for about 4 weeks now and every week has been a struggle. I feel out of place and like I don’t quite fit in where I have inevitably stranded myself for the time being. All my mental prep for this move with my counselor feels like it went to waste. I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and like a failure. I feel overwhelmed and bored. I feel lonely.

I keep reminding myself this is time for rebuilding. And that’s okay. It’s okay to backtrack and rebuild if you didn’t like where things were going but it doesn’t mean that you feel good about it.

My last day at work I hopped on a plane to Seattle and went to go see the tulips for a couple of days. It was beautiful, wonderful, and rejuvenating but I can’t make myself type what I want to share. (I promise it will be written I just know if I write it now it will suck.)

I’m sorry for such a lackluster return but I think it’s important to highlight the half-empty parts of life along with the half-full. I’m going to extend my break a little longer so I can come back the way I want to.

Thanks for understanding.

(for context read: this blog post)

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